14 Negotiating Tips Part 2

14 Negotiation Tips - 7 Don’ts 

1. Don’t use force, threats, fear tactics or burn bridges with any party to the transaction - If you’re planning on having long-term success, your reputation and how you conduct business is also a factor that will come into play now and in the years ahead.  It’s critical to keep in mind that we have a lot more at stake than just getting a  deal done at all costs.  It’s so easy to find ourselves falling into a trap of manipulation when pushing to make a deal come together. Negotiating isn’t always really what we see depicted on TV or in the movies. A top negotiator not only has a clear objective to get his/her clients goals met, but they also have a good understanding of what goals the other party is attempting to accomplish.  Let’s be clear that successful negotiating doesn’t always mean we get everything we want, it means we get the majority of the terms in our favor, and we often overlook pointing this out to our clients.  Setting this expectation will in itself help you close more business. If we have 100% on the table, and at a minimum, get 60-65% in our favor, the scales have tipped in our direction.  Ideally, you can get even more...70-80% or more. It’s about getting the edge to be in favor of your clients. 
2. Don’t make it a “right” fight - I love the saying you can be right or you can be rich and often you aren’t going to have both. Often we approach the other party like the “enemy” or opposition - that we’re working “against” this person or group.  I want to suggest you view the other agent as your allies, how you treat them, your tone of voice and most importantly, how they perceive you are coming across is going to work for or against you. If we break it down, using a home negotiation as an example, both parties want what the other party has - the buyer wants the seller’s home, and the seller wants the buyer’s money.  So, there’s a common variable both parties want, and now it’s a matter of bringing them together to make this exchange with terms both can live with. I didn’t say we are ecstatic about.  If we approach the negotiation with an attitude “it’s my way or the highway” you’re bound to lose each and every time. Both parties have a perspective of what is “right” for them, and a sharp negotiator will work to get both parties as close to that objective as possible.
3. Don’t make up stories or twist the facts - Hello!  I know this one should be a given and yet when we’re pressed to make a deal happen, and our focus is on our commission, we’re vulnerable to possibly going down this path. We’ve all heard the saying “the truth always comes out in the wash” and I am a big fan of that statement...it does!  Another piece of advice I was raised with was “if you tell the truth, you never need to remember what you said”. Isn’t that the truth (no pun intended).  I know it goes against what can be more prevalent, I would rather shoot straight and not get the deal than have to walk around with the guilt and clouds over my head wondering when all the crooked business will come knocking at my door. When we all take the high road, we’re not only helping ourselves, we’re helping our industry as a whole while building up our image as professionals.
4. Don’t fold on your standards.  Being motivated is one thing, acting desperate is another - It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment, I know what it’s like to be working hard to bring a negotiation together and have a large commission just inches away from being put under contract.  I’ve always said the only thing motivation and desperation have in common is they both end in “tion”.  What I am suggesting here is we don’t allow or confuse our motivation to make a sale happen with our emotional and financial needs that can so easily creep into the equation.  I was coached years ago that my money (commission) wasn’t what funded deals. We should never be more motivated than the parties to the transaction.  The moment a buyer or seller senses any weakness about your negotiation skills, that you may be just a bit too hungry,  they will attempt to prey on your weakness.  I believe we need to take a stand for ourselves, maintain our professionalism and not fall into the trap of making the ends meet to bring a deal together.  It’s the old saying when you give an inch - people will take a foot. Again, all this goes back to where we’re coming from...abundance or scarcity.  When we have a steady routine of lead generation, we can have confidence that we’re not going to go without and hold firm, not fold on our standards and let the parties work through to a resolution.
5. Don’t put your own needs ahead of your clients - For most of us, selling real estate is a vehicle that can allow us incomes we’d only dreamed of in the past. I have helped many agents get started in the business and from this experience, I can safely say that the large majority haven’t been accustomed to $5000 - $10000 - $15000 checks all at once. It's so exciting to anticipate the money before we've actually earned it.  This can especially show up when we’re living month to month, in between deals, or quickly running out of savings.  This is where our integrity really shows up. I like this analogy when you squeeze an orange, what do you get?  Orange juice of course.  It’s the same thing with people. We we’re squeezed, what’s inside comes out. I don’t think it would come as a shock that since I started in 1991, I have experienced some ups and downs financially.  Being commission only can be quite a journey  Here’s what I’ve learned. People are VERY perceptive to the energy we put off.  If even for a moment, we’re out to sell a home because we NEED it to pay our bills, people will pick up on that and be put off. Again, no matter how hard, we have to think “come from contribution” and put our clients needs top of the list.  One of my favorite speakers Zig Ziglar taught me many years ago, “If you help enough people get what they want, you inevitably can’t help getting what you want.”
6. Don’t forget you get more bees with honey than vinegar -  We’ve all heard “it’s the small things that make a big difference” it’s so true in life and especially true when approaching negotiations.  It’s important to remember we’re establishing an impression - good, bad or otherwise well before we submit and offer to negotiate.  For example, when we’re representing a buyer how we fair at the end of a negotiation starts as early as setting up the appointment to show the property.  Once shown...have your provided professional and timely feedback? When I say feedback, I am not talking about statements like “my buyer didn’t care for the floorplan” we owe to the seller and listing agent to take an extra minute and give specific and constructive feedback. We need to realize that our actions are either bringing us closer to our goals or moving us further away.  Having a successful outcome and winning more negotiations sometimes has nothing to do with our offer at all.  We need to be mindful of our attitudes when interacting with the other agent(s).  Especially when in a competitive market and one with multiple offers this can be a deal maker or breaker.  If we remember we’re not only submitting an offer on the behalf of our clients, we’re also presenting our attitude to the listing agent and seller.  When the listing agent has several offers to work with, you need to remember that part of getting your deal through is not only based on the terms of your offer, it’s how we conduct ourselves too.  Of course, when in a buyer’s market, this would be the opposite, the listing agent needs to be mindful that their are many other homes for that buyer to approach.  I say we just be nice … period, it’s just a matter of following the golden rule.
7. Don’t use texting and emails as your main means of communication - Oh, don’t get me started!  This is a real pet peeve of mine.  I am a bit old school when it comes to this one.  In the early days of my career, I used to actually present my offers to the seller face to face.  We’d have our buyer’s waiting by the phone or in many cases outside in their car anxiously awaiting the to hear if their offer was accepted or received a counter offer. I am not sure this is exactly how it all came about, I can recall back in early to mid 90’s, we had a recession and the banks got more into the real estate business.  We went from customarily doing business face to face - sitting down and negotiating in person to hearing this “just fax it” offers began getting faxed over to the listing agent to be presented to the seller.  This obviously changed the entire negotiation process as we knew it.  Of course, today, it’s not “fax it” - most markets in the US now have offers sent via email and electronic signature.  Technology is wonderful, and we have to remember at the end of the day, we’re in a high tech high touch business. When we study communication, we know that 55% is body language, 38% is tonality, and 7% is the words we choose.  As a society, it’s a concern how we’ve moved away from good old fashioned “meetings in person” to less “talking on the phone” and for the most part text or email as the prefered means of communication.  It’s no wonder we have the growing amount of misunderstandings in human interaction. We cut out a whopping 93% in communication when we text or email - no body language or tone exists.  If you want to have a higher level of success, think about going back to the fundamentals - face to face whenever possible - phone call next - and as a last resort emails and texting.  Right now, it’s texting/email, then maybe a phone call, and as a last resort face to face meetings.